“One day, the mountain that is in front of you will be so far behind you, it will barely be visible in the distance. But who you become in learning to climb it? That will stay with you forever. That is the point of the mountain.” – Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery
The Mountain
There were times in my recovery from gambling when the mountain in front of me felt impossible to climb. That mountain was made up of the debt I carried, the shame I felt, the broken trust in my relationships and in myself, and the fear of facing life without the escape I had relied on for so long. I would look at all of it stacked together and think, I cannot do this. I will never make it to the other side. And honestly, there were days I did not even want to try.
What I could not see then was that the point was never to avoid the mountain or search for a way around it. The point was to face it, to climb it, and to grow stronger with every step. Every choice I made in recovery, no matter how small, was part of that climb. And while the mountain has not disappeared, it no longer defines me. What defines me now is who I have become in the process of learning to climb.
The First Step
Before I started, I thought I needed to have it all figured out, to see the entire path to the top before I could even take a step. That belief kept me frozen in indecision because when you stare at the whole mountain, it feels impossible. Overwhelming. I did not understand then that recovery does not work that way. It is not about knowing exactly how to reach the summit. It is about finding the courage to take the next step right in front of you.
Some days, that step was as small as pulling myself out of bed and reminding myself to keep going. Other days, it was answering a phone call from someone who cared when I wanted to stay hidden in shame. There were times when the bravest thing I did was show up to a meeting, even though every part of me didn’t want to go. None of these steps felt like big victories in the moment, but looking back, I can see now that they were.
(The day I attended my first GA meeting, I pulled into the parking lot and walked up to the door, only to find it locked. I could have gotten back in my car, but I knew that wasn’t moving forward. So I waited until someone else arrived and followed them through a different set of doors into my first recovery meeting.)
Each little choice mattered. Every moment I decided not to give up, I chipped away at the mountain in front of me. It did not move all at once, but slowly, inch by inch, the impossible began to shift. Those small acts of showing up for myself laid the foundation for the bigger steps that came later. But eventually, the mountain seemed smaller, not because it had disappeared but because I had learned how to climb it.
Gathering Tools
Willpower alone would not carry me through recovery. I needed tools that reminded me I had the power to choose differently. Therapy gave me space to untangle the deeper wounds behind my addiction, and learn coping skills that gave me healthier ways to face urges and stress without gambling. Boundaries helped me protect my time and energy. Self-care reminded me that pausing is not failure but part of the process. This gave me the strength to keep moving and the confidence to trust myself again.
You can find a list of helpful resources here: BGS Resources Guide
Never Alone
Addiction is isolating. For a very long time I believed I had to fight my battles in silence and that no one would ever truly understand. Recovery showed me something very different. The moment I let others in, the climb became lighter. Community gave me a sense of belonging I had been missing. Having a sponsor to guide me when I did not know the next step. Sharing my story, listening to others, and walking side by side made what once felt impossible begin to feel possible.
Rest is Part of the Climb
There were days I couldn’t move forward. I used to see those moments as failure. But I’ve come to understand that rest is not quitting. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pause, catch your breath, and simply stay present. That too is progress.
Reaching the Peaks
The first week without gambling. The first month. The first time, I chose myself over gambling. Each milestone felt like reaching a peak. I could see just how much of that mountain I had already climbed.
Recovery is not about pretending the mountain is not there. It is about showing yourself that it can be overcome. With courage. With hope. With community.
If you are standing at the base of your own mountain right now, I want you to hear this: You do not have to climb the whole thing today. You only need to take one step, and step by step, you will find yourself making your way up that mountain, too.
Your sister in recovery,
Christina
Copyright: Christina Cook, The Broke Girl Society / BGS Media, LLC